Why this blog?
June 13, 2007
Because I’m not having enough fun in my life and it’s becoming a problem.
I never thought not having enough fun could be a problem. I thought fun was like dessert after you ate all the stuff that was good for you but not particularly enjoyable to eat. Fun was optional and had to be earned.
But I think I got it backwards or sideways.
I’ve had my own business for just about two years now and I’ve noticed that even though my business is doing better than ever, I still wake up in the morning and I feel tired, and drained. I don’t get out of bed looking forward to the day. More often I feel anxious and a sense of dread. And I started a business to get away from those feelings that I associated with the corporate world.
What was wrong with this picture?
My business wasn’t nourishing my heart and soul. Not the way I thought it was supposed to. My original belief has been that if my business is successful (meaning people are calling me, I have some money in the bank, and I’m getting the results I want) my heart will feel full. But that hasn’t happened. In fact the more money I earn the more worried I become about spending it! Freaky.
So, I’ve decided that I needed to go back into old territories, some of which I haven’t been in since I was a kid, and rediscover what lightens me up. Are there things I can experience that will make me wake up in the morning feeling like I can’t wait to get out of bed?
And, if I find those things, what will it do to me and how I feel about my business?
Stay tuned and find out.
Entry Filed under: C'est Moi. .
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1.
Daina (Dinah) Puodziunas | June 20, 2007 at 3:15 am
HI Judy,
How refreshing it is to read your insights and observations about success, money, and fun. Sounds like you are on the right track rekindling memories of what lightens you up!
In recalling the moments in time that have brought me the greatest joy as a child…..they were the very simple things…….the simple experiences of being out in nature, sculpting the earth in various ways while feeling the breeze blow against my skin. Looking at the lake and getting into a hypnotic trance as I allowed the wind and waves to carry me into enchanted states. The smell of the earth, the lake, and the blossems of many trees and bushes. Pretending I was a fairy flying all around the land, talking to trees, growing flowers.
All of those things are single moments in time. Not some grand thing, but little moments. They are what I have designed my entire life around. I get to have my childhood loves every day. I designed my home so that I would feel like I was living in a tree house and so that it would feel a little bit like there was not seperation between indoors and outdoors.
I was taking a leasurly drive with my cool new golf cart
around “enchanted acres” last evening while the fire flies were twinkling everywhere on the earth and the stars were mirroring them. I felt like I was flying like I used to when I was a little girl tured fairy. The same feel of the breeze on the skin, the same magic felt deep within.
Pure and simple……I believe what we are talking aobut is PLAY! Adults have to remember and allow themselves to play. Play is that enchanted feeling of getting totally spept away by something that really awes you.
This is one of the main ways that I healed myself from chronic illnesses. I allowed myself all kinds of experiences that didn’t make sense to society……like taking a five year midlife sabatical. I read and wrote day after day, I didn’t need to know what time it was, I spent long hours doing walking meditations, breath work, as well as skipping up and down the long winding drive up to my home.
I think that we accumulate things and buy ourselves experiences because we think they are going to make us feel the way that we feel when we play. But it is an illusion that it is the things that are bringing us those feelings. It is the feelings that guide us to the experiences and things that will fulfill those feelings of play. Just the opposite.
That’s the perspective that I was coming from when I designed Midlife Fairy Godmother Enterprises. I soon became very serious about the whole thing and right as that happened, I lost the juice. Scary thing!! I share your frustration. Then I had to guide myself back to why I was starting the kind of business I was…..getting back to cause, to the seed, to the why, to the play. It’s been slower than I’d like, but I’m having more and more fun with each passing day.
My business is also very spirtually inspired which started to feel very serious very soon!! Yikes! Mark Silver has helped a lot with taking the seriousness off.
Enjoyment is why most people work so hard. That’s what they’re working to get at some point. It’s sad that many don’t realize they’re chasing an illusion and that we have to have the feeling of enjoyment first.
I had an interesting thought today in reference to changing my relationship with money. I realized that I enjoy the acutual persuit of thingsand that I could include money in that. All my life I have had fun figuring out how to acquire what I want even if there is no logical way to get it. I have enjoyed having to get really creative, innovative, even out in left field sometimes. The journey is the fun. Seeing how the universe is going to play with me. Intrigued by the whole process.
I am going to dawn this playful perspective with money now. I am going to include it in my play, my games. I am going to take the seriousness out of my relationship with money. l see what happens!!
Enchanted Blessings,
Daina (Dinah) Puodziunas
http://www.Midlifefairygodmothers.com
2.
inkyboy | June 20, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Daina, you made some comments that really resonated with me:
“I think that we accumulate things and buy ourselves experiences because we think they are going to make us feel the way that we feel when we play.”
“Enjoyment is why most people work so hard. That’s what they’re working to get at some point. It’s sad that many don’t realize they’re chasing an illusion and that we have to have the feeling of enjoyment first.”
Both comments sure describe my state of mind. Or at least the state of mind I used to hold without questioning. Now I’m questioning myself because, in my case and in yours, it just doesn’t work.
I think the biggest insight I’ve had is that when I include play in my work, I’m more effective because joy and inspiration are enormously attractive. Who do you want to work with? The person who’s all grouchy and sending out vibes of deprivation or the person who’s joyful and inspiring.
Hmmm. Let me think about this (ha ha).